omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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