never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Randomize
