Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
