i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
