Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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