Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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