i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Randomize
