So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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