We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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