"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
