something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
