You work out of a Hotel?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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