So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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