okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
