i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Randomize
