Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
