And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize