Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
