Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize