So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
