Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
