Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
