yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
