Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize