the day after is always just damage control
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
