she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
