My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
