I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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