the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
don't judge my taste in strippers
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
