I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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