No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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