I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She bit a glass in half.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
