If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
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