Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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