Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
