plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Randomize
