I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
