Where are you?
In a non slutty way
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize