I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We talked him into tasing himself.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
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