His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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