Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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