On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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