I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
