Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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