I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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