Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
third nipple confirmed
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
