pedialite and red bull = repair kit
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Rumble strips road head = magical
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize