HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize