I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
