my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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