News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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