no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
