Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
