How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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