You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I forget how to act sober
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
