She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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