umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I deserve to be covered in dicks
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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