Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
