My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
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