Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
