And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
