he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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