I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
