i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize